The loneliness of suffering. The light of God. Intercession. One talent. On his blindness.

From 'Peace with God (revised and expanded)' by Billy Graham 1984 (pg 68):

"The loneliness of suffering: Some years ago we received a letter from a radio listener who for five years had been crippled into a sitting position by arthritis. For five long, weary, painful years she was unable to stretch out or to lie down, yet she wrote, 'I have spent many a day alone, but never a lonely day.' Why? It was Christ who made the difference. With Christ as your Saviour and constant Companion, you too, although alone, need never be lonely.

You today who are lying on a hospital bed enduring the loneliness of suffering can rest assured that Christ can give you His grace and strength. While you lie there, you can be useful to Him. You can know something of the ministry of intercession, the greatest ministry on earth, as you pray for others."


Personal reflections:
Of course, I know that my situation is not as dire as that of many others sicker than me in this world. However, I believe that in my life, God has somehow allowed me to be in situations where I have understood better a little of the despair of those who are incapacitated by longterm injury or illness , even if I cannot fully comprehend all the difficulties they are going through...
I remember the time years ago when I had to go through months of consultations, review appointments and different clinical tests and finally undergo an operation in the hospital (the doctor had said that it might be cancer but in the end it turned out , thankfully, not to be; nevertheless, the time of waiting and repeated consultations & tests & worry was not fun)... and the time years ago when I was in hospital for a head injury in a minor traffic accident... and last year when I had a fractured tailbone and was worried and anxious (though God's Word tells us not to be anxious and worried about many things).... and now this leg injury.
When I started to worry a month ago about my future and how the recovery would or would not progress (when I panicked for a short while on discovering that I could not walk even after the cast was removed), and I read this page from Billy Graham's book, I felt that God was speaking to me through the words, especially "You can know something of the ministry of intercession ... as you pray for others" and to "spend more time talking with God and praying for others joyfully". But I was not prepared to accept it then. I felt anxious and a little resentful: "God, why should I be the one stuck here interceding for others while other Christians are having fun outside? And how long more? Will I be limping for the rest of my life? Will this affect my ministries, work, having fun , outreach to relatives and other people, marriage prospects, etc. ?" Yeah, funny how one incident can be extrapolated in so many future events :)
But that was why I didn't pray for a while.
It was a subtle rebellion and a lack of trust that God has the best for me. I wanted to do other things and to serve in other ways, ways that had been denied to me for years already, even before the injury.
I had to be brought to a point of greater dependence on my Lord and Saviour and realising that it takes love, humility, patience and an abiding trust in God to pray for self & to pray for others at the feet of the Saviour.
Sometimes, other people may not recognise that you are praying for them or other believers may neglect to pray/intercede for you. But why should this be a reason for not praying? God knows what's in your heart..... God knows "when I sit and when I rise" and he finds me "even if I rise on the wings of the dawn or settle on the far side of the sea" (Psalm 139:1-10). And this is at the heart of of it all: an issue of being secure in God, trusting that God really & deeply cares, and knowing how much God loves me as his child.



The poet, John Milton, who was blind, wrote 'On His Blindness':
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest he returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts: who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed
And post o'er land and ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait."

Milton depicted himself as asking God how God was able to ask for works from him when He denied him light (eyesight). One might sense some frustrations or bitterness there.

The reply? "God does not need either man's work or His own gifts .. Who best bear his mild yoke, they serve him best."

Does this mean that man should not do anything for God, since God does not need man's work? No.

Out of the ashes of pride and the rebirth of humility & trust in the King -- the Father God who loves him regardless of what he can do for him -- Milton was able to continue serving God by using his "one talent" of literary giftedness.

Milton dictated epic poems such as 'Paradise Lost' and 'Paradise Regained' to others who typed them out for him. His visions depicted accounts of the fall of man and the subsequent glory of man based on parts of the bible. His works have been read by thousands. He used his 'one talent' well, despite - or because of - his disabilities. His poetry was widely considered to be second to Shakespeare.