Is firm discipline the opposite of love ?

Check out 'Focus on the Family'.

They advocate having a loving family but firm discipline. These two are not opposites.

Disciplining one's child in a controlled, consistent way (not out of the parent's personal anger or frustration) is part of love.

Children feel safe when there are definite boundaries set out for them by a firm adult who loves them and they know that they can count on the ability of that person to set wise boundaries and maintain them.

When young children test the rules or boundaries (and there will come a time when they will deliberately test them to see how far they can exceed the limit), the children are satisfied & more secure when the loving adult maintains rightful boundaries & does not give in to the child's tears, threats or tantrums.

Children are contented and secure in knowing that the adult cares enough to establish firm boundaries that prevent them from causing harm to themselves or to other people.

It also paves the way for the child to respect the authority of other authority figures & institutions in future (such as teachers, schools, the police, the government, the work environment, and so on).

For examples & scenarios on how this works in practice, buy one of Dr James Dobson's books or check out the Frequently Asked Questions on the Focus website (http://www.family.org/ ).