As'salam : Visit to Norizah's house and almost a marriage :D

The Invitation

A few months ago, Norizah invited some of us to her house.

It was a lovely time in an informal setting. We ate food that we cooked by ourselves using a BBQ grill. I enjoyed myself.

The Community

As evening was turning to night, many of the guests started to leave. I decided to be a little more thick-skinned & stay for a while longer as it was a good opportunity to get to know her, her family and some of the other colleagues better. Since the others who stayed behind were Malay, some of them started speaking Malay instead of English. I did not feel left out. There was a genuine warmth in Malay culture which I had always enjoyed.

Furthermore, I find the Malay language and culture interesting, so I was happy to observe was happening & to try to pick up some nuances of Malay culture. They also took care to speak some English so that I would not be left out.

I was also very happy to play with their very lovable children. Hasnita was shocked but pleased and said that she saw a different side of me that day.
She usually saw the more serious side of me in the office and did not know that I could be so playful.

The Abang

It was enriching talking with Norizah's husband , a hardworking and ambitious fireman who did well at his job and had accumulated enough resources to buy the freehold property for his family and Norizah's mother to live in.

He said that he did not want to be laid-back or to blame others for economic problems as he had seen some other Malays do.

He had always wanted to work hard so that he could provide for his family.

He wanted his children to get to know people of different races and faiths so that they would not be limited to interacting only within the Malay community.

Daughter in a public school / missions school ?

He said that he and his wife had purposely enrolled their daughter in a Christian missions school in Singapore.

He said that it was because they wanted their Malay-Muslim daughter to interact with and learn more about other races and faiths instead of having a narrow-minded outlook or being suspicious of Christians/Christianity.

I was impressed by their foresight , intelligence and bravery .

Offer to kiss my hand

When Norizah's elder daughter came home from school, she kissed the hand of each female Malay guest in an As'salam greeting of peace.

I noticed that this was not something Malays normally do when non-Malays are present. Earlier, when there were more non-Malay persons around, the children did not do it. They did it only when there was only Malay company around. Perhaps some of them felt that those of a different race (mainly Chinese, including myself) might not appreciate the gesture and they were trying to be sensitive by not showing certain gestures to non-Malays.

But the truth is that , I was glad and privileged to receive the gestures borne out of a heart of wanting to deepen the friendship and a desire for genuine dialogue.

Far from being offended, I am more than happy to be included.

I was very pleased when Norizah's daughter also kissed my hand.

Actually, I think she did not know at first whether she should offer to kiss my hand because she looked a little confused when she saw me - the only Chinese still around.
I was also a little confused because I did not know whether I should offer my hand to her! I was concerned that the family may be offended.
The truth is that both of us were afraid of offending each other.
But , actually, neither of us would have offended the other in the gesture.

Her mum taught her well by saying rather firmly to her, "Just because she's not Malay doesn't mean you don't as'salam her."

Thank you

When we were leaving, we informed the owner of the house / the host (in this case, Norizah's husband) that we were leaving and thanked him.

As the others kissed the hand of Norizah's mother to say goodbye, I decided to follow suit and gladly did so too.

Wow! A Marriage Recommendation !

Norizah's mother was very pleased at my sincerity, attempts to talk with her and gesture of kissing her hand.

She said something to Norizah in Malay (the mum doesn't speak much English).
Norizah translated it:

"My mother says that you should marry a Malay. She wants to introduce you."

I took that as a great compliment!

I knew in my heart that I would only consider someone for marriage if he believes just as much as I do in the One God who incarnated himself as Isa Al-Masir or Jesus Christ the Lord, but I was very glad at her warmth and friendship...
I knew that it was the old lady's way of affirming me and telling me that she liked me. I felt honoured that she viewed me worthy to be part of her community. :)